I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Houston, we have a squirter
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
