I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize