I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
