the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
