Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
