I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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