butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
