im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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