I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
