Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
