No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize
