I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
