i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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