Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Randomize
