I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
