so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
