he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
