Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
