we're chasing vodka with high fives
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
What a dumb baby whore.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
