i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
