So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
