we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
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