He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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