summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize