OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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