i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She bit a glass in half.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
