Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize