i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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