my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
