How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
