East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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