where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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