maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.â€
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