i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
