i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
