all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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