Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
soo... how was my night?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
