lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize