You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
