your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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