Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Drake has all the answers
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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