Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
