This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
