By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
