That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You can't motorboat a personality
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
There r osticjed everywhere
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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