at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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