Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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