have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
