If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Randomize
