found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
