At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
