I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
