Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
