if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize