If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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