His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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