so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
