I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize