I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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