i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
